I forgot my name. I forgot everything, or most of everything. I forgot where I am. On a lonely country road in winter it would seem. There are still patches of snow on the ground.
Wait! Wait! I do remember one thing. I’m a soldier. That’s for sure.
Yes. I’m a soldier. Now what is my name? Does it really matter? “Soldier ask not”, the Captain told us.
Oleg? Nah. that’s a R*ssian name. In Ukrainian it is Oleh. We used to joke with the R*ssians that they had a bad accent. That they mispronounced everything. And they would laugh. I guess they’re not laughing any more…
Oleh, or Oleg, comes from the Old Norse ‘Helgi’ or ‘Helge’, which means ‘Holy’. Old Norse? Yeah, the Vikings. We’re all cousins of sorts, aren’t we? The name is very common in our parts. But Oleh is not my name. It was my grandfather’s name.
Oleh, my grandfather, was 75 or 76, I’m not sure.
He lived in Bucha, in Ukraine, not far from Kyiv. He’d gone outside for food. They killed him as he was riding his bike. Just like that. A little old man on his bike. His body stayed on the street for days. Weeks maybe? No-one dared go outside. It was in March. That’s when I volunteered for the Army.
Now I remember my name. I was named after my grandfather actually. My name is Olga-Kateryna. Olga is the feminine of Oleh. A common name here. And there. In other countries it would be Helga.
What? The scissors in my pocket? Don’t ask me. Captain got killed by a sniper bullet before he had a chance to explain. The gun and the pistol are wayyy more useful, believe me.
Okay. Now I remember my name. But what am I doing here? Where’s my platoon?
What? My makeup? Ha! It’s neither makeup nor a mask. Though I’ve seen some pretty fancy masks around.
Not make-up. Not a mask. No, no. That’s the way I am now. Remember my name?
My name is Olga-Kateryna. I had a distant Mexican grandma, a long way back. I’m a Catrina. I was killed in combat at the battle of Bakhmut.
So here I am. A Catrina. Nothing can happen to me anymore. Now I will fight till the end. At school they taught us about an Englishman who said, a long, long time ago:
“We shall never surrender.”
Slava Ukrainy. Glory to Ukraine. 🇺🇦
Soldier, ask not – now, or ever,
Where to war your banners go.
Anarch’s legions all surround us.
Strike – and do not count the blow!
* Gordon R. Dickson. The Dorsai cycle
Author’s note: Nova Khakovka dam in Ukraine has been destroyed. Thousands are fleeing the flood. Not to mention the constant bombing of civilians. An NGO has been very active, giving food to Ukrainians ever since the beginning of the conflict. Anyone wishing to donate, here’s the link:
https://donate.wck.org/give/398293/#!/donation/checkout?c_src=6-7-23-update
Equinoxio 
No words adequate. 😔
Understandably so, but well received nonetheless… 🙏🏻
Very powerful story.
Thank you. Most grateful.
Your sketch and the colors you used look great! Was that watercolor you used euinoxio21?
The first batch of colours was watercolour, then I switched to fine-tip markers, because (I just bought them!) i wanted to work details. Such as the Catrina’s face… (Hence the change of colour on the fatigues and ground)
What kind of paper is good for watercolor?
Canson is a good brand, but I can’t find it here. I’m using an Italian brand I found here, called Fabriano, but I’m sure there are many brands available. This one is 21×29.7 cms (8″1/4 x 11″3/4). It says you can use dry and wet techniques, including acrylics (which I don’t use. Yet). The important thing is the weight. This one is 160g/m2. (then it says 180lbs…).
Now, when you use watercolour on any type of paper, it tends to bend the paper. I have a press (I also bind books) which I use to press the painted paper between two wooden boards (with hard cardboard inside to protect the paper)
Thanks for the advice.I’ll see if I can find Fabraino on Blick Art Materials website. I tried Canson brand paper last year and it buckled. Finding thick paper isn’t easy or at least that’s been my experience. The water color sets here are way over priced. I will wait for the fall sale.
Canson, as many French products may be out of stock, not sold, promoted, whatever.
I just got a set of 18 Pentel watercolour tubes for about 20 bucks on Amazon Prime. But then I live in Mexico and with Prime I can buy Us stuff (mostly books) with no transport fee. Not sure where you live. Try Pentel arts watercolours. For me it’s a good selection of basic colours. (Since I’m slightly colour blind, precisely in the brown/green colour range of this last sketch, basic colours are fine) 😉
Thanks Equinoxio21! I’ll see if my local art supply store has pantel. If not I’ll have to think about Amazon. Sadly packages in this building were stolen before.
That’s a shame… What possible gain can anybody get from stealing a package… Makes me mad… 😡
Good luck with your local store.
(And think about pressing tour paper once painted. You can always use clamps with a dormant)
Thanks! Unfortunately thrives share our planet too.
There is a book called “Thieves of State” that’s on my reading shelf. It goes all the way up… and down… 😉
And as you can imagine, there was a lot of tiny strokes… hehe! (Not doing combat fatigues again!)
Lol!
That or a brick building… (Another nightmare…Hehe!)
Misspelled that.,I meant thrives.
I thought as much. LOL.
I have days were I just can’t spell correctly….sorry. Their are thieves in the neighborhood.
No worry. Happens to me all the time. Spelling…
Sorry about the thieves. It is very aggravating.
Thanks, and yes very aggravating indeed. I try to drive to my local art supply store first before ordering from Amazon if I can help it.
The advantage is that you get to see and touch the product which one can’t on Amazon. And sometimes it is useful. But I must confess ever since the pandemic, I have been using Amazon a lot…
Best of luck at the store
Wonderful story and illustrations! 🫶
Thank you Coeur de Feu…
Thank you, this is lovely!
🌹
This is a very hard-hitting story told in words and images in a perfect integration.
Thank you Liz. The inspiration comes form a photo of a Ukrainian soldier with a mask. Then came the idea of a woman soldier and a Catrina… All well? Are you getting a lot of smoke from Canada?
You’re welcome, Brian. All is well here. Our area isn’t getting the smoke nearly as badly as areas farther inland.
Good. At least you’re sort of “away”. (We’re going up North this summer. I hope it will be better…)
It helps us that we’re only twenty miles from the coast.
👍🏻
I live surrounded by the smoke, in Canada. The fires burn all around us, but do not threaten us yet where we are. I imagine it is similar here to Ukraine, where some ancestors lived long ago. Bombs, fire, lands are being destroyed. But Ukraine never dies. I hope Canada will not either.
Excellent storytelling. Excellent artwork!
Thank you “Rawgod” for your visit and comment. I do hope the fires will be controlled soon. Kinda strange. I’d never heard about fires in Canada, when every year one hears about California… Selected journalism I guess.
Free 🇺🇦
This is the worst year for Canada as a whole, but every year something burns somewhere. In 2019 we living in northern Alberta had to evacuate for 3 weeks. About 750,000 hectares of old growth forest were lost that year just in one fire. In 2016 the small city of Fort MacMurray was burned to the ground in places. But this year, with a combination of unseasonably high temperatures and a huge lack of rain the fires were/still are burning in all parts of the province, and the country. Like east coat USA gets hurricanes, we get fires. This has become normal in the last 20 years. The climate really is changing.
I had no idea. Just the year I decide to visit Canada (Québec and Toronto). Ha! Well, I still have masks.
And it is nothing compared to what those of you live close by have to endure… Let’s pray for ☔️ . Be safe.
Thanks. When you coming?
In July. More to the West. Québec.
Lol. Quebec is in the east, just west of what we call the Maritime Provinces. If you can, at least fly to Vancouver before you go home. It is the city where the ocean meets the mountains, and in my estimation, the most beautiful city in all of Canada, if not the “modern” world.
Yes! Yes! East. You’re in the West. east of BC. I seem to have all my cables crossed lately…
I know about Vancouver. It is on our list. But it will be some other time.
As long as it is sometime. And do the seawall walk in Stanley Park. It takes a few hours, but is well worth the time. You will barely know you are in the middle of a big city.
Duly noted. A several hours walk doesn’t scare me. I like it. Thanks.
Muy bonitos dibujos. Buenas noches.
Muchas gracias. Dulces sueños a pesar de la triste historia… 🙏🏻
Thanks for your continued protest of the Ukraine invasion. World Central Kitchens does great work.
We must never forget what is going. It is a shame on humanity. Though what Ukraine is doing with the help of many countries is worth our respect…
And thank YOU for the connection to WCK.
🇺🇦
I heard about WCK when they were helping out in PR. Such a fabulous organization doing great good in people’s time of need.
PR = Puerto Rico? They’re brave people. One of their cooks just got killed. Random bombing of civilians…
Si, Puerto Rico. WCK has served 100 million meals in the Ukraine. Amazing folks!
Eso pensé de PR. 😉
They are amazing. Something simple. No weapons, no… focus groups, just F.O.O.D. Brilliant.
(Probably also a very good result/donation ratio. Not million dollars tanks or weapon systems -useful too-. Plain food. And bravery. They risk their lives daily.
👏🏻
Yes, we’re big fans of Chef José’s work.
Have you read the post about Sr. Sargaso and his seaweed adobe bricks?
Sad but powerful.
🙏🏻
You last picture is incredibly powerful. You have certainly captured the horror of this war in this story and series of pictures 💔
Dankie Robbie. I wish I hadn’t. Or that there should be easier topics, but wherever I turn lately…
I know! I think you did a fantastic job with this piece. I wish everyone could read and experience it.
A little drop in the ocean. But some see it. It is enough. Or maybe it isn’t? (I am getting increasingly worried about the world’s current stat of “affairs”. What world will our children and grandchildren live in?)
Me too 💔
Oh WOW … such a powerfully moving story … I must save this one. Mind if I share it? And yes, World Central Kitchen and Chef José Andrés are doing great work in and around Ukraine … I’ve been donating a small amount to them monthly for some time now. Thanks for mentioning them! And thanks for this beautiful story, Brian!
Sure Jill. Go ahead. Such stories need to be shared. And 🇺🇦 must be free.
(Small world about WCK… They’re incredible)
All well? As much as can be?
Thanks, Brian!!! Yes, this should be shared and seen by as many as possible … it says so much! Yes, I have followed WCK for several years … I think it was around 2016 they first came onto my radar … and they do incredible work. As much as can be, yes … which is much less than I would like! I’m impatient … I want to be able to do more!!!
One does what one can. For one tiny drop some of us add to the ocean, the more we are… 👏🏻
(Let me know if you share the post)
So true … and a lot of drops make the ocean whole again … we hope. I did share your post yesterday (Saturday) morning, and it had the most views of any of my posts on Saturday! It got 63 views! Your artwork is amazing, and the story is one that needs to be told. Thank YOU for letting me share it!
63 views on a Sat’day? Great. Be my guest, you can reblog any stuff of mine anytime…
Hopping over…
Yes … it was very popular! Thanks, Brian!
My pleasure Jill.
This is absolutely stunning – way before you got to the features the was a sense of impending doom in the developing illustration. So necessary and so well done
Thank you Derrick. Yes, necessary.
As you probably noticed, I didn’t do the features until after a while… I needed the mystery to remain, while the story built up.
Free 🇺🇦
(And a happy Sunday to you and yours)
Yes, well done. Your good wishes reciprocated
🙏🏻
I’m of Ukrainian descent. My grandfather came to America in 1905 via London. Normally combat medics carry scissors in their pocket, but she isn’t wearing all the pouches that they do. This war makes me sad and angry all in one. I follow a number of Ukrainian civilians on Twitter. Their stories are heartbreaking,
I remember your mentioning your Ukrainian origins.
Thse scissors come from the original photograph. But that was a man and a very armed soldier. There were more pouches indeed. I cut corners…
I feel exactly as you do. Though possibly angrier. This is a shame… And now the effing R*ssians blew up the dam. The nuclear plant at Zaporija might have cooling issues.
Thanks for visiting and commenting Ray.
Very powerful. The way her character and what happened to her emerges slowly through both words and picture is very effective. I think much of the world is feeling the Ukrainians’ pain to some extent but it’s important to be reminded regularly of what they are going through.
Some countries couldn’t care less, sadly.
I agree with the pain, but I think it is their courage that deserves our admiration. I often wonder whether we (anyone, the French for instance would still be able to fight so hard…)
Yes, very true
As an aside, we’ve been watching a semi-fictional series about the formation of the SAS. According to this, the soldiers were taught that contrary to what they had been taught they should always ask WHY they are being ordered to do something. That way if it goes wrong they know what they were aiming to achieve and can try to do so by some other means.
Very good. That shows progress. When I was in the Army, one could question anything. And I spent a year in a combat regiment. Fortunately we were at peace, otherwise. I actually got in trouble with my Captain because I asked questions… hehe.
Now, “Soldier ask not” is a text written in the early 60’s by Gordon R. Dickson. In a Sci fi cycle called Dorsaï.
And I understand it may be one the reasons the Ukrainians have been able to fend the R*ssians off, thinking is promoted, while it is not on the other side…
Une histoire et des dessins tellement forts qui ne laissent personne indiffèrent…
Bon week-end Brieuc
Biz
Merci Mélie. (Si je continue comme ça je vais finir par faire de la BD… Haha!)
Toi aussi. Biz
I love how you highlight how the war is not abstract, it affects actual people.
Thank you Paul. The only ones not affected are the ones ordering the war, right? I’ve mentioned before how my grandfather lost most of his brothers, brother-in-law, cousins in WWI. (Remember “The bride wore black”?)
Yes I do remember. I still believe that old idea if the leaders who desired war were to lead the troops from the front it might make a difference.
Definitely would…
🙂
Your story and the evolving illustrations are great!
Grazie Nilla… A hard subject…
Reblogged this on Filosofa's Word and commented:
My blogging friend Brian (Equinoxio) typically posts about art in many venues, many styles. It was he, I believe, who first introduced me to the famous street artist, Banksy. I’ve long enjoyed Brian’s art posts, but until yesterday I had no idea that he, himself, is a very talented artist. Brian is also a humanitarian who shares my horror at the continuing war in Ukraine and in his latest post he uses his artistic talent to share his thoughts on Ukraine. It is a very moving post and I warn you … you may need a box of tissues. Thank you, Brian, for this post and your permission to share it … it needs to be seen far and wide.
Thank you Jill. Much honoured.
The honour was all mine, my friend!
🙏🏻
You drawings are impressive, in beauty as well as in horror …
Thank you “Brigitte”. As you can imagine it is a combination of many sources. The Catrinas were invented by a Mexican artist named José Guadalupe Posada. I’ve seen contradictory dates. Late 19th century or early 20th… Mexicans sort of “laugh” at Death. Hence the theme of the Catrinas. Diego Rivera has used them.
Hopefully, Beauty will soon overcome Horror…
Let us hope so! I thought of the Catrinas when her face changed, very much día de muertos.
Very much so indeed.
I am well aware that artists don’t simply end up with their final pieces without the time and commitment it takes for them to work out their ideas, therefore I very much enjoyed going on a virtual tour of you carving out this particular artwork and being able to see it from blank canvas to finished work. Thanks for sharing and have a great day 🙂 Aiva xx
Thank you Aiva. It is true that the final “product” may have changed from stage to stage. I’m not quite sure how I got the idea of taking successive photos, and “document” the process. Also support a story in process… It is a pleasant process, even when the topic is harsh as this one.
Thanks for visiting.
Hope all is well?
I wondered at the start, was this a quote from Gordon R. DICKSON? Or just a coincidence? It has been years since I last read it. Very fitting nere!
Well, well. A Dickson reader… 😉 I did read it, about 50 years ago, I guess. And re-read it recently. (Along with other Dorsai books).
I’d been wanting to do something with that text for a while. When I finished the sketch I knew I had my title. And end quote…
Thanks.
The 60s and 70s were the playground of Dick, Dickson, Brackett, Piper, and a number of others. Like rock, science fiction was in its glory. I loved them both.
Indeed. Couldn’t agree more.
Two sides of the same coin? Hadn’t thought of that. Maybe there is a story there… 🎸
Could be. Wooden Ships is, after all, Science fiction put to music.
Reblogged this on https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
This is an incredibly captivating statement, honouring those who take up arms in defence of their homes. The plain, simple statement of each tragedy and burden this one soldier has taken on, and now whose ghost stands there commands our respect and sadness at her loss. The mention of part Mexican heritage and the face painted in the Día de los Muertos style strike the final chord. Her spirit lives on.
Excellent.
Thank you very much. I am honoured.
Of course this is part fiction, part reality, inspired by a photograph of a Ukrainian soldier with his platoon on a lonely winter dirt road. And the sad story of the man ion Butcha killed on his bike…
I wish it were but fiction.
Again, thank you for your visit and your comment.
My pleasure to have been able to comment.
Sad that we have to witness this as reality.
Some day Russian artist and writers will feel safe to produce their own laments on the criminal folly, cost paid in blood by their own.
Indeed. I think Svoboda is the word fro Freedom…
(Just re-read Tchekov. Interesting…)
I wonder how many Russian fathers are reading this poem by Pavel Antokolsky?
Do not call me, father, do not seek me,
Do not call me, do not wish me back.
We’re on a route uncharted, fire and blood erase our tracks.
On we fly, on wings of thunder, never more to sheath our swords.
All of us in battle fallen, not to be brought back by words.
Will there be a rendezvous? I know not.
I only know we still must fight.
We are sand grains in infinity, never to meet, never more see light.
Farewell then my son. Farewell then my conscience.
My youth and my solace my one and my only.
And let this farewell be the end of a story,
Of solitude vast and which none is more lonely.
In which you remain, barred forever and ever,
From light and from air, with your death pangs untold.
Untold and unsoothed, not to be resurrected.
Forever and ever, an 18 year old.
Farewell then, no trains ever come from those regions
Unscheduled or scheduled, no aeroplanes fly there.
Farewell then my son, for no miracles happen,
As in this world dreams do not come true.
Farewell…
I will dream of you still as a baby,
Treading the earth with little strong toes,
The earth where already so many lie buried.
This song to my son, is come to its close.
Very powerful post. Thank you for this. (I donate to World Central Kitchen as well as United24. They do amazing work.) Slava Ukraini! Слава Україні!
That makes several of us… I don’t know know United 24. Will check them out.
Glad you “liked” the post. I felt I had to do it. (I also believe that the Ukrainians are fighting for the entire free world, but that’s another issue)
Can’t read or write Cyrilic, but would that be appropriate:
Svoboda Ukraini.
свобода Україні.
(The wonders of tech.) 🙏🏻
United24 is the fund raising platform set up by President Zelenskyy when the full-scale Russian invasion began. It basically is a crowd-funding platform to raise money for humanitarian aid, specific needs such as ambulances and medical equipment, and military hardware such as drones. Yes, I, too, believe the Ukrainians are fighting for the entire free world, and it is imperative that they win. (I’m learning to speak, read and write Ukrainian. The Cyrillic alphabet is particularly difficult to learn.)
Duly noted for United24.
And yes, the alphabet is hard. I more or less can read the Greek alphabet, but Cyrillic is very different. I might eventually learn some letters. 😉
Désolée de mon retard…
This was so good, Brieuc. The Ukrainians must win. For all the Olgas and Olehs, women and men fighting to survive. Beautifully done, mon ami.
🙏🏻
Slava Ukrainy!
🇺🇦
The progressive sketching got my eye🎉
Good. It’s a crazy idea that came to me a few years back when I started sketching again. Take photos at various stages of the sketch/painting. Also allows for “dramatic” progression… 🙏🏻
Deeply moved, both by your writing and your drawings. Keep strong.
Well, thank you Deniz. That sketch was difficult to do, though I’d had the idea in my head for a while.
Despite the sadness of it all, I am touched by your reaction. We should all feel the same way shouldn’t we?
(Slava Ukrainy!)
Wow, Brian, this post holds several amazing artistic swings… well done! The transformation of the ghost that begins with the wonder of just who he/she is along with the charcoal outline progressing into both powerful words and a powerful soldier from where she makes her statement with a heavy heart. For all the Olga and Oleh in the fields of Ukraine ~ Slava Ukrainy!
Hi Dalo. I thought you might… appreciate the post. The inspiration was a photo of a real Ukrainian soldier. male. With a skull mask. There came the inspiration in a snap. The story was easier to write than to sketch obviously. Still another minor contribution of mine to that atrocious war.
Slava Ukrainy indeed. One day the Olgas and Olehs will say “Svoboda” at last.
🇺🇦
All well for you, I hope?